Jon & Kate

It seemed quite inevitable to us the first time we watched Jon & Kate plus 8 that this was a union doomed to fail. Forget that almost every "reality" show that has ever been on ends in some kind of failure for the participants. These two people never talked to or about one another like a loving, normal and stable couple would. Nice to say here we are, warts and all, but on TV, well the warts really are magnified. Also easy to be glib and say we don't listen to the nonsense in the tabloids, etc. Hogwash! If it is okay to be disrespectful while on the tape one can only imagine how utterly uncivil they must be when by themselves.

The children really are delightful though. Kate does a phenomenal job with the large brood. Obviously she has her priorities spot on when it comes to their meals, their schedules, their health, hygiene, expectations, etc. She runs a tight ship and I would say is pretty lucky to have the help she has, considering her sharp tongue. It is not easy to run a household full of little children! Jon, almost from the beginning, seemed to be sort of hapless. He then morphed in to this pity poor me character. Kate on the other hand really started looking more lively, perhaps from her writing and the opportunities it was affording her. I do believe she has clear vision as to how financially beneficial this show is to her family and their future. I don't fault her for that. Money is pretty dog-gone important when you have children, especially eight children. Apparently the two of them were not or are not on the same page on this. Jon doesn't seem to really like that Kate is "out on her own" promoting the book and the show. Maybe it is more he doesn't like being trapped at home, something millions of stay at home Moms could commiserate with him about at times. Wasn't his complaint that it is all "Jon & Kate", not just Jon? If she would have said that I would have said to her, same as I say to him, good Lord, get over yourself and grow up! That is what you sign up for when you have kids. There are no guarantees that all is going to be wonderful or easy.

When someone has as much at stake as one would surmise Jon does, it certainly is stunning to think he is out partying with college kids. There is an icky factor there I can't seem to get by. Hope they don't have young ladies doing any of the "nanny" work (and yes Kate-even though you said you would NEVER have a nanny, that is what your "helper" is). Not a prayer I would let my teenage daughter babysit for them. Makes no difference what one thinks of Kate. The guy has eight kids, five of them are girls and he is out partying with young women?

What is really sad is of course what this is going to mean for the children. There is no way on earth they aren't touched or harmed by this. Kids don't want to have to choose between parents, they don't like being in the middle and certainly don't like it when their parents are unhappy. And typically children act out when such tension is present in the home between their parents. If you've ever had marital problems you know how difficult it is to focus on anything besides the relationship that is in tatters.

Maybe Jon and Kate should stop the "tours", stop the show and work out the free fall that is their marriage. I don't have much hope for any success but they have eight good reasons to work like hell to fix it and fix it soon.